What is It???

Today Dre and I went to counseling. Since our old counselor left it has been a struggle to get up and go. The guy we meet with is nice. I am getting used to him. Dre and I have only one of two options stay together and fight with everything in our minds and bodies to make it work or leave and move on. I personally would love to spend the rest of my life with Dre. We have a family and maybe one day I would like to add to that family. However I can't go through my life being unhappy and settling for contentment. I want happiness and I think after 10 years of being committed to him I deserve that much from him. I know that Dre loves me I just think that when you go through your entire life with no responsibility it is kind of hard for someone to jump right into it. I think that as women we have no problem with it. We handle the feelings of being overwhelmed in a totally different way. We get things done and think about the rest later. Our feelings always take a back seat if the "time is not convienent" At this point in my life all I want is some happiness. I just want some peace in my life. I want a man to do what he says he is going to do and nothing more. Sometimes I wonder what it is that keeps us in this world. I mean for some of us it is shear happiness and love of life. We have family that we can't live without and mates that light up our days. But why do the rest of us stay here. Why don't we create a island away from everyone that has ever hurt us and those that could maybe one day hurt us? I guess because without companionship we are nothing. Since I have been here in Indiana I have met very few people. The girls at my job and a classmate is about as deep as it gets. But without those three people I don't know if I would have made it. See they don't know what happens in my life. I don't feel like I am close enough with them to discuss all of my business with them but they make me laugh through all of my pain. They share their stories and I think "thank God I don't go through that." See even when you are going through so much and you wonder what you are doing here you realize it could be a whole lot worse than what it is now . I am determined to get married to Dre and have a happy life. Today he said something really ground breaking......if we can get through this if God will bless us to make it through we will be together for the rest of our lives. Keep the prayers coming for us.
Thanks for the great tag I love it.....